You get my point. And it's not one of those things that any amount of positive thinking or self-effort can pull you though. If you are fortunate and have the funds, friends and emotional support- and a great doctor who can work with your not-so-great biochemistry, then you might improve 50-80% after 2-5 years of therapy. I know a few folks who claim to be nearly symptom-free, but nobody ever fully gets rid of the infections, short of a miracle from God, and I don't know many who have come out of this storm feeling better in their bodies than before they went into it. It ravages everything within you, outside of you, and all around you.
Which is why, I suppose, in 2009, God impressed it upon me that he had a better way. I had been attending an ILADS Lyme disease conference with 400 doctors. And as I sat there, listening to the doctors explain about insanely complicated and expensive antibiotic healing protocols, I thought, "This is a disease for the rich. This is a disease for the blessed few who have the mental wherewithal, emotional support, and stable enough biochemistry to overcome...not to mention one of the best doctors in the country."
I left feeling incredibly depressed, for myself and the other people that I knew with Lyme. At that time, I'd been treating Lyme disease for five years (much of that time on my own, mind you, which was a bad thing to do) and had improved significantly, but was yet nowhere near well.
Then God impressed it upon me that He had another way, and that healing wasn't just for the genetically-privileged, or the rich, or those with emotional support or the best Lyme doctor on the planet. He told me that people with Lyme disease could be healed through His Son Jesus Christ, and that by seeking His face, He would show them the way. He told me that the same Spirit that raised Christ Jesus from the dead 2000 years ago was still present to heal today, and that when Jesus died on the Cross, He became an atoning sacrifice not only for our sins, but also for sickness.
I began to devour books that talked about healing and the Atonement. One of my favorites was Christ the Healer by FF Bosworth, because it explained, convincingly and by using Scripture to back up its contentions, why in fact Jesus promised that "the prayer of faith would heal the sick."
The problem is, God told me, is that we have allowed our theology and beliefs about Him to be dictated by our experiences, and not by what His Word, the Bible, says. Logically so, since quite often we pray and nothing seems to happen in the physical realm.
But then I learned about spiritual laws and that while God's promises to heal are true, there are sometimes spiritual strongholds that have to be broken in order for people to heal- but that God would show me those strongholds, so that I could break them off my life and others.'
I was so inspired that I began to pray more for people, and even saw one man miraculously healed of all symptoms of chronic Lyme disease. Another was healed of cancer, and God began to use me to bring people into a higher place of wellness, either emotionally or physically. I began to attend Christian healing conferences, and saw God heal hundreds upon hundreds of people.
I prayed, and wrote my own book on spiritual healing, entitled, Healing Chronic Illness. Since that time, I have learned more about healing, but had hoped to see more people completely healed of Lyme disease.
Recently, I went to God about this and told Him I was discouraged, and asked Him what I needed to do to see His promises in Scripture fulfilled.
Sometimes, God speaks to me in the first person through my boyfriend Bill, and He responded (in a voice of great authority), "You must see what you have in your hand now, and you must be thankful for that which you have now. Your power and anointing have grown (over the past several years)...." And then He said, "Do not belittle the anointing I have given you! This is not about you. You make yourself far greater than Me if you think it is your prayers that make them well, when it is My power going through you that makes them well."
Well. I was duly humbled. But He still hadn't addressed my greatest concern, which was why I wasn't seeing more instantaneous healing miracles from Lyme- which is what I wanted to see.
Ever patient, God responded, "How badly do you want to see people healed? Do you not think that I want to see them healed, as well? Do you think I put it upon your heart to see them well? That there would not be a way for you to pray so that they would get well? If I did, then don't you think I'd let you see it through? That I would not give you the visions to see it accomplished; that anointing, talent, power, ability and fulfillment to make it happen? Rest in that, and embrace that..."
Then He reminded me of the healing miracles He had already done through me- emotional and physical healing miracles; miracles that I had disregarded or not appreciated because they weren't the whole kit n' caboodle.
He reminded me about the responsibility that we all play in our healing- to seek His face, to trust Him, and to believe Him to heal us- either through a supernatural, divine miracle, or through medicine.
The impressions He's given me over the years are that medicine isn't His preferred way of healing, because it's harder, more expensive, and painful, and not everyone will be healed through medicine, especially those with chronic Lyme. We might be restored to 70-80% health or even become symptom-free, (if we are blessed and believe Him for a full recovery) but He made full provision for our healing when Jesus went to the Cross at Calvary, and that this provision was sufficient.
And Jesus doesn't just heal people from Lyme- He still raises them from the dead, both metaphorically and literally, and His power is sufficient to heal broken limbs, bodies and souls.
Yet, He uses and blesses medicine, especially because, for most of us, our faith is in medicine more than in God's supernatural power- but if you don't have access to medicine, I just want to encourage you that there is another, better way! And the healing is for everyone- as God is no respecter of persons.
I haven't received an instantaneous healing miracle from Lyme, either, perhaps because of mental strongholds in my own life, or simply because God chose another way with me-- but I know people who have, and God has used me to heal others.
As I continued in my conversation with God, He told me to keep pressing in to Him; to keep praying, no matter the perceived outcome, and that as I continued to pray, I would see more people healed of Lyme.
Way back in 2004, I started out my Lyme disease battle in a bad place. I was very sick, and I quickly exhausted my savings, and had to sell my home, and move back in with my parents for a couple of years, until I won a Disability case, at which time I moved to Costa Rica for a couple of years while I wrote my first two Lyme disease books.
My suffering has been great, as, in addition to Lyme, I am a survivor of ritual abuse, which I endured for many years as a child. When I got Lyme, like so many others, I didn't have all the support that I needed-either emotionally or financially-, but I had a relationship with God, and daily I sought His face for wisdom and help.
Today, when I look back, I realize that while I've not "arrived,"and while I've not had an instantaneous healing miracle, God's divine power has been working in me, to heal and restore me, because I chose to believe (most of the time!) that He would.
Considering the circumstances that I was in 10 years ago, had I not sought God, I might have still been living with my parents, on Disability, or even dead, as there was a time in 2006 when I lost so much weight that I wasn't sure I was going to make it. I was 120 pounds at 5'10" (I'm now 160, on the high end of normal) and at that time, I surrendered to Him, believing that if it was His will, I would live. Many times in the years that followed, I had to remind myself of His promises in Scripture to heal me.
I'm still not fully healed today- but the infections are no longer a major problem, and emotionally and spiritually, I'm healthier than I've ever been. As I've stated many times in my articles, I can work and travel. I have my own home again, and God has used the most hideous trial I've ever endured and enabled me to help thousands through the eight books that I've now published (three on their way this summer!), along with the anointing that He's given me to see other people healed through prayer.
So even though I still grumble today about the challenges that I still have; financially, with my health and otherwise- if I look back to where I was 10 years ago, I must be a walking miracle, because there is no way I would have gotten to where I am today without God. Not with the kind of background, history, financial and physical challenges that I've had.
Still, the temptation is always to look at what God still hasn't done in our lives, instead of what He has, and complain that He's not moving in our lives, or healing us. I've been guilty of that, a thousand times over, and I admit that envy likes to worm its way into my life, and show me what other people have that I don't.
Although that said, whenever I look at the newsfeed on Facebook and read the posts from people that have Lyme disease, the messages reflect lives that are far more difficult and devastating than the people I know that haven't suffered this terrible illness. We all suffer, to be sure, but meter of suffering in those with chronic Lyme is right up on the high end of red.
Which is why God continues to urge me to contend for healing miracles, for myself and others.
I'm pretty sure it's He who put that desire in me, too, because had it been me, I probably would have given up a long time ago. The pain of seeing what others go through is just too great, but now, my determination is fiercer than ever. I am determined to see Jesus' promises to set the captives free, the sick healed, and the eyes of the blind- fulfilled- I will, no matter where I have to go, or what I have to do.
As He continues to encourage me in this, I pray He will encourage you also in your healing journey. Seek His face, thank Him for the healing, and then trust Him to guide your path. He will do it, even though at times the progress may seem slow. Continue to believe, and you will see Him change your life for the better! Because believing is seeing in God's world...not the other way around. God bless you :)